DISCLAIMER: I am a BAD writer!!! If you notice any major spelling and/or grammar errors, you can blame my editor (that doesn’t exist). Cheers, mate!
Buenos días, amigos, Welcome back to the Monday Edition of Yeah Right: the newsletter. We have a lot of stuff to unpack this week, so strap the fuck in, and let’s get this show on the road!
Last Week’s News, Today
Me and who? 😳😈
I don’t know about you guys, but If I was going to have sex in public, it would most definitely not be in front of Noah. As a man of taste, I would much rather commit such a heinous act in front of a real streetwear store, like Supreme.
Please Don’t Destroy—Ben Marshall, John Higgins, and Martin Herlihy—just got hired at SNL. FUCK YEAH, BABY! Maybe SNL won’t have to rely on the Weekend Update & Pete Davidson to carry their boring ass show anymore…
Last Monday, film-bro director PTA (aka Paul Thomas Anderson)—not to be confused with PTA meeting—finally released the trailer for his new film, Licorice Pizza.
I’m a little disappointed that PTA didn’t stick with the film’s original title—Soggy Bottom—because my pants were soggy as fuck after seeing this trailer if you know what I mean 💦😛.
This marks PTA’s first film without frequent collaborator Philip Seymour Hoffman in what feels like a VERY long time because, well, Philip is uhh…dead (rest his soul). Since you can’t cast a dead person yet (stay tuned for James Dean’s hologram), PTA hired Philip’s son, Cooper Hoffman, in what will be his first EVER role. Now that’s one way to step into the spotlight, Coop! Cooper stars alongside baby HAIM, aka Alana Haim (of HAIM, the family/band), and Bradley Cooper (the guy from The Hangover trilogy and that shitty A Star Is Born Movie). With a release date of November 8th, I expect you to brush up on your PTA encyclopedia in the meantime…because you best believe he will be using anamorphic lenses like he used your mum last night, mate.
It was Gwenyth Paltrow’s birthday last week…god bless her vagina-scent, candle-selling soul. To celebrate her birthday (literally one week later), I want to remind you all how it feels to be rich with a quote from queen GP herself—
If this isn’t the most obnoxious shit I’ve ever read…..😮💨. But honestly, same here GP! I barely want to eat regular cheese as it is and I would also love a good excuse to give crack a shot. I’ve heard nothing but good things. Some would even go as far as to call crack the “champagne of drugs”.
Petra Collins is one of my favorite creatives right now—and is she ever on FIRE! After linking and building with Lil Nas X this past week, I feel like this is the perfect time to point out some of the amazing shit she has been cooking up the past year or so. I mean, LOOK at these pictures, DAWG! SHE DOESN’T MISS! 🤧🤧🤧🤧
Speaking of which, if you haven’t seen Petra’s directorial work on good 4 u…1. where the fuck have you been? and 2. go watch if you haven’t, loser! The aspect ratio, the sets, the choreography…not even Gordon Ramsey could cook up something this hot! 🥵
And if you’re craving more, you can pre-order Petra and Alexa Demie’s book collaboration, Fairy Tales. You already know I ordered this shit the moment it came out though. I would commit many (MANY!) felonies for Ms. Demie…
“Fairy Tales is an erotic folklore of short stories shot by Petra Collins starring Alexa Demie. The pair created the concept and text collaboratively. Alexa portrays nine characters that embody new stories they would have liked to see”.
Britney Spears’ dad was removed from her conservatorship last Wednesday. (It’s a shame it only took 2 documentaries for that to happen). Now, she’s not TOTALLY free just yet—but she’s close! And if I was moments away from unlocking $60 million and my freedom for the first time in YEARS…I would post up nude on the TL as well! Good for you, Britney!
Charli XCX (the actual Queen of England) was sadly forced to work alongside Addison Rae on a Pandora activation last Friday. You know the bag must’ve been nice though because no way in hell I would hang out with Addison Rae for hours on end for no money. Thankfully, it appears as though Charli had no issue keeping Addison in check:
I have never, nor will I ever, listen to Grimes. Do I fully believe she planned this though? Sadly, yes. Although I sincerely hope she steals Elon’s every last penny in their divorce. (Were they technically married?…idek).
Side note: Karl Marx could fuckin’ WRITE! Watch out, Sally Rooney.
Article Of The Week
With The Many Saints Of Newark finally out in theatres, this feels like the perfect time to reflect on The Sopranos…
Album Of The Week
girlhouse has been one of my favorite artists since I stumbled upon her a few months ago on Spotify dot com (the free version). With 2 EP’s under her belt already, I think she’s bound to break out any time now…
Tweets Of The Week
That’s all for today! I promise you my CIFF coverage is coming…uhhh...tomorrow…maybe? 🤪 Who knows! I’m just a fun-loving guy who loves to write stuff! LOL!
xoxo
J.O.
amazing work!!! I don’t care about anyone else’s opinion